Practice Makes Perfect

My two bigger boys, ages 10 and 7 3/4, play instruments.  The 10 year old plays violin and has for about a year and a half.  The 7 year old has played piano for about 6 months and I teach him at home.  For a while we were having trouble getting them to practice regularly, as I know EVERY parent struggles with!  When I was growing up, we had an egg timer sitting on the piano and we were supposed to practice for 30 minutes.  Oh, how those minutes seemed to D-R-A-G by.  I remember sitting there wishing they would go more quickly and hoping my mother wouldn't hear the deafening silence of my non-practicing.  There would be tears.  Arguments.  Frustration on everyone's part.  It was not good.  In fact, my siblings quit piano at the earliest opportunity.  I do not want that for my boys.  Above all, I want to teach them a LOVE for music and the joy it brings.  I do not want it to be a source of dread and frustration. 

So, my husband and I haven't done timers.  Or arguments.  And there have been way less tears and lots less frustration than I could've imagined.  We have come up with a system that has worked surprisingly well.  We have tied their technology usage to their practice time.  They LOVE to play on the computer, Wii, my iPhone, or watch shows on Netflix and we call any of this usage their "Tech Time."  We are "the meanest parents ever" and only let them have "Tech Time" on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturdays for 20 minutes each.  They are required to practice their instrument every day (with some exceptions) until they have practiced well.  Like I said, we don't set a timer.  Some days they practice longer because they need to work harder on a piece, or they are just enjoying playing.  Some days, like just before lesson time, they may breeze through their work pretty quickly.  We listen to their practicing and hold them accountable, but we do not tie them into a rigid time frame.

I am not saying that setting a timer is wrong or bad.  In fact, at some point in our children's musical instruction we WILL set a timer.  This is just the way we do things for now.  My piano teacher was adamant about my parents making us practice with a timer 5 or 6 days a week.  That is what they were told to do, and that is what they did.  I do think setting a time to practice is good and for some kids, setting the timer so they will sit longer than "play-through-my-song-three-times-and-I'm-good-to-go" is what is best.  Please make guidelines that work for you and your family.    But at this point, consistency is key.  Making sure they get in there most every day and practice is more important than the length of time.  #1 usually practices for around 30 minutes without a timer.  #2 takes less time, but he is 7 and a beginning piano student.

If they complain or act disrespectfully when they are reminded to practice, they may lose minutes off of their Tech Time.  Since I teach #2, he will sometimes get frustrated and show it.  I know that this would not happen quite so easily or often if he had an outside teacher.  In an effort to cut down on him having such a short fuse with me, we have instituted the rule that if he gets upset or disrespectful, he loses minutes of Tech Time.  Now, if I am pushing him too hard and he gets upset and I realize that it's really my fault, I don't take time away from him - I just try a different approach, just as I would do for a student who isn't my child.  He was getting to the point where anytime I would ask him to do something over again or try to instruct him he would shout "I KNOW, Mama!"  As if he really knows everything about piano already and I am simply annoying him!  Haha!  I remind the boys all of the time that I do not expect perfection, I just want them to try hard and practice and they will improve.  And they really do!  

#1 takes violin with an amazing teacher.  She is encouraging and patient, and he has really progressed quickly.  She also allows him to play music that interests him.  Just now he is working on the "Cantina Song" from Star Wars.  He has also played "Hedwig's Theme" from Harry Potter and the Darth Vader theme.  She lets him play these things because he does work hard on other assigned pieces.  I think allowing students to play things they like helps them keep an interest.  Hot Cross Buns just isn't that fun for a 10 year old to play!  She has simply written the melody line to these pieces he loves and has let him play them as extra songs - after he has practiced his other music.  Because of this, he sometimes stays in the living room playing the extra songs for a long time - even playing them on the piano as well.


All of these things help teach and foster that love for music.  Even if we are using technology as a bribery tool to get them to practice.  In the end, they go into practice time with a happy heart and come out making good progress.  AND they are then rewarded with something they love.  Win win, right?!?